A Few Bright Spots in a Crazy-Hard Winter

If you don't know me personally (actually, even if you do…), my apologies; you'll probably find this entry super boring.  I'm still struggling with what direction to take this "family" blog now that it has readership.  Suggestions welcome!

The other reason I haven't done any personal blogging is that this winter has just been really rough.  A few snapshots of frustration that will hopefully someday be humorous include:

1. Our dishwasher breaking five or six times, full of dirty dishes each time, and including the week I was trying to bake all my cookies to raise money for International Justice Mission.  
2. Our decade-old, pre-digital television also bit the dust this December.  Right before both kids came down with the stomach flu for a total of 4 nights and days.  And Mark was away at a hematology conference.
3. Of course this was perfect timing for Matthew to spill water all over my laptop, which was a hand-me-down Mac from my mother.  Our printer had also been broken for months.  And we had no money to replace any of these things.  They'd still be sitting around broken today if not for a huge surprise from my mother's brother down in Florida.  Turns out Santa did come this year.
4. In early December we got some sad news about one of Mark's patients.  This very young man had been diagnosed last winter with a cancer that is usually curable, but his cancer turned out to be highly aggressive, completely untouchable by any treatments.  In November Mark sent him to the NIH for some experimental treatment that occasionally works miracles.  On our own family's "Christmas morning" (a Sunday before we were to fly back home for the holidays - for the first time in three years) Mark headed downtown to retrieve and read what we knew were likely to be this young man's final scans.  Mark spent that morning downtown with the family; he wanted to be there and they wanted to hear the news from him.  It was very sad news, and my heart breaks again just thinking about what they've been through.  We thought a lot of this young man while we were home with our own families, knowing that he was home on hospice and he deserved so much more.  He was a very special person, very loved by all his friends and family; Mark said that MD-researchers often have a patient or two who inspire and focus their life's work and he believes this young man will be his.  Mark attended his funeral in January; I wanted very much to go but had no childcare.  His mother's eulogy is something I'll never forget, even though I wasn't there for it.  She said that as a little boy he'd always reach up to take her hand… and on his deathbed he reached up again to take her hand but she knew that this time, he was the one reassuring her instead of the other way around; that's who he was, always strong for others and always positive.  I can't imagine holding my child's hand for the last time.
5. Back to the logistical frustrations:  Picture it, the night before we're supposed to fly out, frantically packing and prepping our apartment for deleading (which is no small task).  Matthew falls and hurts his arm.  Subtract nearly 4 hours in the emergency room (thank goodness he was all right).  Total of three hours of sleep that night, and about the same amount the following night since Claire didn't take well to her new surroundings and cried for hours and hours.
6. Of course:  Spilled coffee all over my new keyboard.  Of course.
7. Return from the holidays.  Can't find the window fixtures for Claire's room.  Suddenly she's waking up at 5:30 instead of 8:30.  Takes literally a week to figure it all out.  Because that's the crux of residency:  It's not just the time they're gone, it's what happens to the time that's left.  Incredibly stressful.
8. Could anything else go wrong?  Why yes.  Just as I was hoping to finally, after 5.5 years of intense training, settle into a more "normal" life out here as Mark commenced lab research, Mark's PI ("Principal Investigator" - the head of the lab, and what Mark hopes to one day be himself) is suddenly being heavily recruited by Memorial in Manhattan.  Apparently some fat cat on Wall Street donated tons of money to Memorial and they're filling their ranks with the best they can get.  Memorial is essentially neck-and-neck with Dana-Farber; some might even say it's better, but the Harvard card is sort of a trump card in a lot of ways because, well, it's Harvard and it always will be.  But if Mark's PI leaves, that will leave us in a tough spot.  Either we would have to move to Manhattan, which we cannot afford and which would really not be fun after I've worked hard to carve out a life for us here, or Mark will have to start all over in a new lab here.  Starting over here would mean forfeiting the loan forgiveness for research that should come through for us this fall.  He spent months last fall working evenings and weekends on his application; it's like writing a grant.  And we really need the forgiveness; $35,000 of principal forgiven would be fantastic, when we still have about $210,000 left.    

So anyway, I started out this winter at a sprint.  I thought I was about to finally hit the residency finish line in terms of a "normal" life and it energized me to bake my IJM cookies and push through cold after cold after cold - literally I was congested for three solid months - with no childcare help whatsoever.  But eventually these various minor disasters took their toll and I'm typing this right now in survival mode.  Just putting one foot in front of the other until the weather gets warmer and we figure out the lab situation, and until Mark finally finishes up a book chapter he was assigned to write half a year ago - it's unpaid, and you "can't say no," politically.  Mark has been working late pretty much every night and I'm still "taking the kids" on the weekends so he can get more work done on that chapter.  Logically I know that we're almost at the real finish line… things should get better really soon once the chapter is done and the lab situation resolves.  But my heart just can't keep "bringing it" another day.  I'm on an emotional "pause" until it's over.  I'm basically hibernating and hoping to find brighter days when I wake up.

As to the bright spots, I do want document these too:

(1)  We had an absolutely fantastic 3-day Christmas in Chicago with Mark's family.  He has a huge family and there is no end of fun adults my age to chat with and adorable nieces and nephews to delight in.  Plus his family is Swedish and there is no end of amazing Swedish food and fun traditions.  I'd been missing all this for three years since Mark couldn't go home either of the past two Christmases.  And introducing my kids to what will be such a special part of their own childhoods was the kind of joy that life is all about.

All the Murakami cousins.  Such amazing kids, each and every one of them.

Not-even-Everybody.

Family magic.

(2)  I also had a nice extended stay at my own house of origin as an after-Christmas.  It's SO.  NICE. to have an extra set of hands (two, really) to help.  And I cherish the time with my parents.  Bonus:  My father's sister and her husband, and two of their three children, made the trek up to Madison to celebrate together and meet Claire.  My aunt is one of my idols and certainly the most I have left of my grandmother, with whom I was really close.  And I love her family.  It was amazing to see them.  I am so glad they made the trip!

Papa and Uncle Jeff made a snowman with Matthew!

My cousin Maggie and my daughter.  Lucky me!!!

(3)  Claire is talking!  At 16 months she says tons of things.  She answers questions with a "Yes," will tell you what TV show she wants and then say "That's the one I want" if you click on it, she even said an emphatic "Da - AD!" when Mark tickled her the other day.  It's hilarious how her sweet, garbled little voice actually says very "adult" things.  Love it.

15 months

16 months 

15 months.
Yes, I'm obsessed with dressing my children.  But I do it on a shoestring budget; here are my tips.
See, also, my Zulily tips.

(4)  Matthew continues to amaze me by being SUCH a good big brother to Claire.  Twice at the gym childcare drop-off he lifted his arms up to "take her" from me, melted my heart!  And I love it when I come back and catch them playing together.  They play very well together at home too which is an absolute godsend for me.  He never stops talking and hearing his often adorable thoughts brightens every single one of our days, no matter what else is going on.

Sugar Cookie Fun

3 years 4 months.

(5)  Mark and I have started a weekly marriage "course" at our church.  It's painful to pay for a babysitter once a week, but we really need to get back on track now that our half-decade of "survival mode" is hopefully finally ending.  Our goal is to continue with the babysitter after the course is over so that we have at least three hours a week for us.  It's clear that if we don't schedule it in, it won't happen.  And I'm not gonna lie:  We really need it.

(6)  My Mom-to-Mom group this year is amazing.  I love these women; I love that we come from such diverse backgrounds and situations, but we have all really bonded and we share laughter and even occasional tears every week.  Mom-to-Mom is a national program that originated at our church out here; every Thursday we meet for an hour of lecture/video on parenting and then another hour to chat with our "small groups" - childcare is excellent, you should definitely look into whether there's a chapter near you.  The woman who started it, Linda, is herself a medical spouse - and the videos often mention the specific struggles of having a very busy partner.

There, now the blog is caught up in terms of documenting our family's "story."  Here's to hoping that this is the very last residency chapter.  I'd love to write an "It Gets Better" chapter in a few months for all my medical spouse readers.

Summary of Summer

As summer draws to a close and I get excited for my very favorite time of year (autumn through Christmas) a little documentation of what we've been up to and the memories we've made this summer:

Lots of time spent at beaches.

My little sea turtle.

I finally feel I've hit my Boston groove - after three years spent denying that such a thing could possibly exist for the young-kids-no-family-here-no-money crowd.  Lately I've found that instead of wondering how to fill the time, I wonder how I'll find the time to do everything we want to do.  Some of our local faves:

• The Arlington Reservoir ("The Res").  Big thanks to Sarah for getting us into this.  Practically walking distance it's a beautiful, gradual, chlorinated beach that's perfect for post-naptime fun.  Matthew's fave.
• Various splash parks.  Thanks to Jen, Tammy, and Sarah for introducing me to some free but super fun places and providing excellent company for me and sweet playmates for Matthew.
• Gold's Gym.  Once Matthew was weaned and (finally!) sleeping through the night, I began going to the gym regularly, and Matthew loves the play room.  
• Children's Museum, Science Museum, and The Aquarium.  Best way to do these is to all get an annual pass to one place and take friends as guests.
• Wilson Farm.  I can hardly believe how rarely I get there for produce since we're so busy with everything else!

Splash Park + Ice Cream Truck = Sticky Summer Bliss

Throwing stones with Alex and Chase.

Belmont Splash Park.

We've hardly had time for our staples, like our morning walk on the bike path to Starbucks and the park.  I can't seem to get to Costco or the mall, either - it's hard enough to find a morning or afternoon for groceries!

Speaking of those mom friends, I've loved the time I've spent with Sarah, Jen, and Tammy and their kids.  I am so thankful for their friendships.  For so long here I wondered if I'd ever feel at home and I finally do and I owe so much of that to the comfort level I have with these ladies that only comes from time and shared memories.

What else is new?  Mark started fellowship at Dana-Farber.  This has brought many changes.  Notably:

• Relief that residency is over.  Mark's hours are still pretty bad but it's great knowing this is the final stretch. 
• Lots of thinking about cancer.  Lots of hearing sad stories.  Dana-Farber is one of the top cancer institutes in the world and most of Mark's patients are coming in for second or third opinions.  That usually means very difficult situations.  I don't know how he does it; I couldn't.
• Crazy schedule.  Baby gets to see Daddy maybe twice a week if I generally keep him up until 9:30 p.m.  So baby generally sleeps in until 9-10 and naps anywhere from 1:00/2:00 until 5:00 pm or later.  This makes playdates hard but it's well worth the father-son time we earn!
• Some really great weekend time with Mark, at least until he's allowed to moonlight again.  Blueberry picking at Parlee Farms, church at Highrock Covenant, and even a jaunt up to Maine.

Blueberry Loot.

My berry-picker.

Hiking in Maine.

Maine.

Maine.

Little Hiker.

World at their feet.

My Olaf boys at a restaurant in Maine.  Lobster rolls and blueberry pie!

Pregnancy.  I have 8 weeks to go and I look ready to pop.  I'm sure this will be another big baby and I can't deny I'm terrified after the traumatic delivery and recovery I had delivering all 9 lbs 10 ounces of Matthew and his 99th (sometimes 100th) percentile head.

Thanks to Mark I've been reading all the real medical journals on macrosomia (the medical term for "having a really big baby" which is defined as a baby 9 lb 4 oz or more... Matthew beat that by half a pound).  I've learned that having a macrosomic baby doubles your chance of a c-section.  At this point I think I'm more afraid of repeating Matthew's vaginal-but-barely delivery.  

17 Weeks

27 Weeks

Cape Cod.  I am thrilled that my parents, brother, and sister-in-law came out here to visit us.  My parents generously rented a house on Cape Cod that comfortably held all 6 of us (Mark couldn't go, but Matthew counts) and we had a wonderful time.  The house is walking distance to a gorgeous, gradual ocean beach with soft sand, PERFECT water temperature, and fun-but-not-scary waves.  On the way to the beach is a homemade ice cream shop, an adorable little cafe with house-made cinnamon rolls and breakfast sandwiches, and a "general store" serving amazing sandwiches.  The town (Falmouth) is adorable and good for a nice ladies' afternoon of shopping.  Plymouth made a great day trip with its fascinating "Pilgrim Hall" museum and a replica of The Mayflower.  Lobster rolls and creamery ice cream were had.  I cannot think of a better way to experience this region.

Chappy Beach.

Stretching with Grandpa.

Quintessential Cape Cod on our walk to the beach - ice cream shop and cafe.

Grandfather and grandson.

Fun with Uncle Jeff.

Brave li'l man.

Not even a Momma's Boy... a Nonna's boy.

Hillary.  Though her presence in town was brief this summer, my best friend returned to the area and we were able to get our babies together several times.  She threw me the best baby "sprinkle" a girl could ask for.

With Hillary's Annabelle (and my Claire, though I didn't know it at the time!) in Boston.

So there it is.  A really great summer.  As autumn approaches I know that still more changes are in store for us.

• I am dying to meet my daughter, but nervous for the transition to two.
• I am, as always, excited for autumn.  The crisp air, jeans and sweaters, colorful leaves and favorite autumn soups, pies, crisps, muffins, etc.  Apple picking, hay rides, and (out here) apple cider donuts.  "Orchard Day," our family's made-up holiday.  
• I am SO eager to not be pregnant anymore, possibly ever.  This pregnancy has been rough.
• I cannot wait to have fun dressing my baby girl and and big boy in autumn outfits.
• Hoping to still have time and energy to try new recipes!  

With my Little Man.

Dada.

Our family of - technically - four!

Bring it on, autumn!

Golden ticket... or golden handcuffs?

Some very good friends of ours recently struggled greatly with a decision... a decision we still struggle with probably once a week:

Do they leave (or should we have left) St. Louis and come out to Boston (MGH) for his residency?

It may seem like a no-brainer.  MGH is, for all intents and purposes, "The" Harvard-affiliated hospital that for most medical specialties is the most competitive in the nation.  Adele just had her vocal chord surgery here last November.  Yet my husband and I go round and round on whether it's been or will be worth it for us to have come out here for this program.  I ultimately emailed our friends telling them that although we'd thought at great length about how to advise them, we still found ourselves vacillating between "You can't not do it!" and "No... RUN LIKE HELL!!!!"  They replied that their thoughts were exactly the same.  It's a very tough decision with the highest of stakes involved - both for the prospective physician and for his or her family.

Do you want your family's struggles to be worthy of reality TV?  Maybe not...

Finding out that MGH wanted my husband was quite the feeling.  Their (discreet) indication probably cinched things for us... even though we calculated we couldn't afford Boston unless I continued to practice post-kids, which neither of us wanted.  Still, we found a way.  I stayed in St. Louis alone five long months after he left and we saved up my salary.  We also relied upon having been told that we could "practically double his salary moonlighting starting second year" (HA - 2nd years can't moonlight at MGH).

The financial stakes were high, and so was my husband's upcoming fatherhood.  He didn't want to miss out, and neither of us wanted our children to miss out on their father.  Thus it was very important to our decision that MGH told us that they were "old school" - and at the time, they were.  They told my husband that he would work harder his intern year than most residents, but that the rest of it would be easier.  We thought that sounded great - sacrifice while I'm pregnant so our children could have more time with their father.  Of course, none of that ever happened.  Second year was harder than intern year (nearly unimaginable) because MGH shifted work up as it came under fire for interns blowing through the 80 hour/week limit.  And this year has been just as bad, both because of another new ACGME rule (limiting intern shifts to 16 hours from the previous 30, again, work flowed up) and because my husband now needs to moonlight constantly just to make ends meet... since he couldn't last year after all (not that he'd have had ANY time to!).

The mood when my husband went back to work - 12 hr shifts with another 2 hours of commuting.
Sporadic days off only, needing to sleep through many of those.
Hand on pager.

Anyway, our decision was made under those (false) impressions and I can't say either of us would have been able to pull the same trigger knowing then what we know now.  As little M's mommy, and having been raised by a child therapist, and believing Harry Chapin nailed it with "Cat's in the Cradle," I probably could not ethically do it.  This evening when we got back from the park for dinner and a bus went by but didn't stop, M - a sweet, mellow kid - burst into tears and lay on the ground crying "Da-deeeee!  Da-deeeeee!"  His cries continued sporadically inside, no matter what I tried to distract him with... and he finally looked longingly and hopefully toward the door, sighed deeply, and put his head to his chest and sat down.  Watching that made me cry too - it would break any mother's heart.  How do you tell your child, who hasn't seen his dad for 5 days, that he likely won't see him again for another 5 days?  How do you do that month after month after month?

Thus I have an enormous amount of respect for another friend who was also invited to interview at MGH, who also could have gotten in, but who did not blink an eye at not ranking it.  She crossed them off her list immediately after interviews.  Pretty much everywhere else she interviewed had assured her that they were "supportive" of families.  MGH... quite the opposite.  At least they're honest!

And so neither of our two prospective resident friends or their families will be joining us out here in Boston.  Their decisions and sacrifices were made largely for their families, but will also impact their own health, happiness, and experience of 7-8 years of their lives.  I have a lot of respect for that, and a bit of relief for them as well.  The current MGH interns are working *even more hours* than they did back when my husband went through, because this year's new 16-hour shift limit has created massive inefficiency at the hospital with complex hospitalized patients receiving new doctors twice as often, and those doctors (residents) needing to prepare for more frequent but shorter shifts and debrief from them as well (not to mention commute to and from them).  While many other hospitals (like my father's, UW-Madison) have absorbed the additional work by hiring N.P.'s, MGH seems to just spread it around among residents.   

Also factoring into my friends' decisions was the "Boston reality" for their respective spouses.  Basically, for the medical spouse, the decision to come out here not only means saying Goodbye to your spouse for 7-8 of your best years (including those precious baby days)... which alone is pretty sad to swallow... it also means saying Hello to a *wicked* hard city to live in, alone - REALLY alone, day in and day out and most weekends - and REALLY poor.  When your friends stress about how hard it is to have more than one kid, you'll wonder how you'll ever do it, since they have husbands from 5:30 on and all weekend long (not to mention greater financial resources).  Meanwhile, going to MGH isn't exactly like going to Harvard Law.  Physician and even academic salaries are much more "set" than most professions, where a pedigree could drastically alter your career path.  Sure, there's the chance that your research career could really take off and do crazy things.  But it's all sort of vague and as our friend put it:  "Even if you're wildly successful someday, you'll never know that it was because you went to MGH for residency."

As the doting spouse, I find myself tending to believe that my husband will be on top of the world no matter where he goes.  He certainly has been so far!  Not to mention the fact that Barnes/Wash U is not too shabby as one of the very top hospitals in the nation.  So it's a hard for me think about the time he's missing with Toddler M and the damaging fatigue his own body has endured over the past few years - he's taken to joking about how he's going to die young, and it's terrifying for me because he's at least half serious.  Not to mention the financial relief we'd have had by staying in St. Louis due to their PSTP option (LOTS more salary and a year less of residency for those ultimately pursuing research), the normal cost of living, and my being able to work another year before staying home.  Out here, we *don't* make ends meet on just his salary, and we have no way of saving significantly for a house, M's college, retirement, or anything really... and we won't for another 4.5-5.5 years, when we're 36-37 years old(!!!).

So it's a very tough choice, one I'm not sure we'd be able to make again, given the current situation.  And I'm happy for these friends.  As Match Day approaches I'm positive they feel good about their choices.  And I'm positive they're each headed toward the phenomenal careers of helping and healing for which they are destined.  

Guy Things I Never Thought I'd Have to Know or Do

I'm all for gender equality, don't get me wrong.  But ladies, let's be honest:  We grow up expecting that certain things will be handled by the men in our lives.  Things like deep blizzard shoveling, for example.  Or... dare I say... toilet clogs.  But now that I'm going on 2 years of being a stay-at-home spouse with a very busy husband, it's finally dawned on me:  The days of "guy stuff" are over.  At least for me.  Here is a list of some of the things I never thought I'd have to know or do.

2003

1.  Deep Blizzard Shoveling.  If you're married to a man who's never home during daylight (or even nighttime) hours, someone HAS to clear the snow.  I once shoveled over 8 hours in one day.  Pregnant.  We live on a corner with two entrances (both with stairs and porches) and a bear of a steep driveway.  And we had a "nor'easter"!

Shoveling... it's not for perfectionists.  Especially our driveway.

2.  Toilet Troubles.  I remember the first time I cleared a clog... I assumed it was an extreme, once-in-a-lifetime situation.  LOL.  Since then I've learned all about all sorts of toilet troubles online and in discussions with my dad, our landlord, and the plumber.  Got a toilet problem?  I just may be your lady.

3.  Dishwasher Trouble-Shooting.  It turned out not to be fixable... but I was able to verify that for our landlord after a lot of research.  And without any water damage to our neighbors below!

4.  Massachusetts Plates.  I believe it took 4 trips to the RMV to finally get our MA plates.  With or without a baby, I did all 4 ... waiting over an hour each time.

5.  Need New Tires.  Good thing our tire blew out before winter arrived!  I'd had no idea all 4 needed replacing.  Now I know what to look for and how to tell... and how to get a good deal on new ones.

6.  Other Car Maintenance.  Oil changes, new wipers, brake adjustments... oh yeah.  And all with a baby in tow.


7.  Take Out The Papers And The Trash.  I don't get any "spending cash" for this but trash and recycling are pretty much all me.

8.  Steam Heater Maintenance.  I can't explain this if your house isn't ancient, but it involves keeping water at a certain level in the basement.  I think I made our landlord write it all down for me... that was before I gained confidence in these matters.

9.  Dryer Vent Fixing.  Actually I haven't done this yet because I can't reach.  But that's why it's been out for nearly a year.  I'm still scheming about how to get a chair down two flights of steep, narrow stairs.

10.  Installing the Car Seats.  It scares me that I'm even involved with this.

11.  Assembling Strollers, Furniture, and Baby Toys.  My parents would be proud.  And utterly shocked.

12.  Purchasing Big Heavy Items, like our Area Rug, and Hauling Them Home.  A big thanks to Kelly, who helped me out with the rug.

13.  Last, but definitely not least:  The time I had to fish a dead, stinking, fly-attracting rat out of my diaper bag and salvage what I could of the contents.  It had to be done... and it had to be done before that long hospital shift was over. 

I almost couldn't do it.  I think it took a few tries.

So all you female medical spouses out there wishing you could afford a house already... be glad!  I can't imagine how much more work that would be!  And I have, since childhood, *always* refused to mow the lawn.  ;)

Moonlighting Blues & The Best Soup Ever

Before I get into this AMAZING soup, a bit about our lives.  For one thing, I get way more hits that way (apparently I wasn't meant for food blogging) and for another, I do mean to document our lives for my children and other medical spouses.

So:

My husband's moonlighting paperwork finally went through and that means he can start picking up shifts where he'll actually get paid as a doctor.  Only problem is he's still working as a resident!  His "senior resident" year was supposed to be a cakewalk but the ACGME passed a new rule this year that limits hospital shifts to 16 hours.  To compare, my husband often worked 30+ hours on his shifts as an intern.  So... someone has to pick up that slack.  And whereas at my dad's hospital they're turning to NP's (nurse practitioners), MGH knows it has an even cheaper labor source in its senior residents - heck, they're salaried so it's a FREE one!  So weekends my husband should have had off, and evenings he should have been home... he's working for *you*, MGH interns.  Enjoy your sleep!  Oh and be warned... if you're counting on moonlighting money, like we were... well, it's not so easy to find the time for it.

If you're wondering whether this is depressing, um, no, it's AWESOME!  Not.  This was supposed to be "the good year" and basically he'll now either work his days off or if we're "lucky" he'll moonlight them.  So sad, especially for Matthew.  I do some full-day baby-sitting and I've been lucky to do a little legal work from home recently, but living in Boston on a resident's salary with $1400/month student loan payments and a baby ... doesn't actually add up, people.  We're out of the money I saved lawyering and that means we need [significant] cash.  And as a friend once put it, my husband and I "don't have any fat to trim."  We're already living in extreme frugality.  (and *please* don't ask me "whether I've considered" going back to work ... it's a little insulting, frankly; if I thought that was a good choice for us right now I'd obviously already have done it).

What a rant!  Clearly my Italian side doesn't permit unlimited Pollyanna-ism and when even my husband's Scandinavian stoicism has devolved into cynicism, the only cheery disposition to be found chez nous is the baby's.  Thank God for him!

Anyway, my husband will be working Thanksgiving AND Christmas.  Woot.  Thanksgiving for free - allllll weekend - and moonlighting all Christmas.  No family in the area.  I don't think I can convey to those of you whose spouses have holidays off how depressing it is to face them alone, with a baby.  Everything is closed and everyone else is having those moments that life is all about, but you're just trying to figure out how to fill the time until the stores open again the next day and you can be excited for some grocery trip and seeing other kids at the park again.  In June my husband will start fellowship, where the first 1.5 years are supposed to be pretty bad.  So basically we're both looking forward to January of 2014, when my husband will be in the lab and things will finally be normal (if we can remember what normal is by then... and if they're actually normal...).  Sigh.  But as I told my own doctor, there are starving people in Africa.  Hmmm.  She still wants me to get therapy.  Her husband did the same programs, by the way...

On a brighter note, my brother's wife Adora (aptly named - we ADORE this girl) urged me to try this soup last year and I have to say she found a MAJOR gem.  Be sure you use good ingredients - sweet ripe pears and fresh ginger - or it won't turn out to be perfection.  But please, give this a whirl.  It's heart-healthy too (with substitutions) so I'll have to double post it on my HeartHealthyFoodie blog.  And it's actually fairly easy - if you double the recipe, you'll have a healthy veggie side dish with no cooking for many meals to come.

Curried Butternut Squash and Pear Soup

Finished Product.

Ingredients:

1 butternut or acorn squash
3 tbsp butter (heart healthy:  substitute Smart Balance Sticks)
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 tsp fresh minced ginger root (all produce sections have)
1 tbsp curry powder
1 tsp salt
4 cups chicken broth
2 Bartlett Pears, cored and diced (okay to leave peel on)
                                                                                      1/2 cup cream (heart healthy:  substitute milk)

(1) Roast the squash by slicing in half and removing seeds, and placing flat side down on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper or aluminum foil.  Roast in 375 degree oven for 45 minutes.  When done, remove pulp from peel and set aside for later use.

Acorn squash before roasting. But go for butternut squash if you can find it.

(2) Melt butter in large soup pot.  Stir in onion, garlic, ginger, curry powder, salt, and saute until onion is soft. Add chicken broth and bring to a boil.  Add pear and squash and simmer until pear is soft (about 30 mins).

Peeling and mincing the ginger root.

Sauteeing butter, onion, garlic, ginger, curry, salt.

Core the pear.

Easy pear dicing.

SO easy.  Scoop up with spatula and add to soup.

(3) Here's the labor of this recipe:  If you don't have an immersion blender, you need to transfer the soup to a food processor or blender in batches and blend until soup is pureed.  I highly recommend getting an immersion blender though.  They're not very expensive and they can pay for themselves easily when you use them to make your own baby food.

Immersion blender.  Perfect for making your own baby food - or heart healthy smoothies.  $28 on Amazon, makes a great gift.

(4) Return soup to pot.  Stir in cream (or milk).  Reheat.  I like to serve with a dollup of low-fat sour cream in the middle.  So fancy right?

Double batch, baby.  It freezes perfectly in any container.

Enjoy :)